How to Deliver Bad News (In Love)

And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Mark 10:21

For a long time, I had a huge fear of telling people what they needed to hear if I knew it wasn't what they wanted to hear. Yes, I was the guy who would let you have an entire conversation with a giant piece of spinach in your teeth and not say a single thing. I would justify it by saying to myself, "I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable. Ignorance is bliss." But the truth is, the real reason I would shy away from telling people what they needed to hear, even when it was bad news, is that I didn't want to be uncomfortable. It wasn't out of concern for the other person, it was out of concern for myself.

Jesus isn't like this. In Mark 10, he is in a conversation with a guy known as the rich young ruler. This mans seems like he was a stand up guy. Not only was he a man of prominence culturally, but he was an upstanding and religious Jew. But there was something he needed to hear. It was bad news for him, but it needed to be said. So Jesus told him what he needed to hear. Jesus told him that he needed to sell everything he had and give it to the poor.

In the past when I read this passage, I always thought Jesus was annoyed by the rich young ruler, that he told him this in order to make an example of him or to publicly humble him (Is it still called a Jesus juke if Jesus is actually the one who says it?) But something stood out to me this morning as I read this. Mark 10:21 says that "Jesus, looking at him, loved him..." Jesus loved him. He didn't give him bad news to spite him or humiliate him, he told him what he didn't want to hear because it was the loving thing to do.

Fortunately, I have gotten over the discomfort of telling somebody they have spinach in their teeth. However, how often do I refrain from telling somebody bad news, news like, "If you continue to live your life not trusting and submitting to God, you will pay for your own sins in hell?" How often do I bite my own tongue when I see somebody doing something destructive to himself?

Jesus delivers just as much bad news to people as he does good news, and it is always out of love. Is there some bad news you need to share with somebody? Do we love those around us enough to share bad news when necessary?

Jesus did.